Posts Tagged ‘venting’

Railing at…

Monday, January 25th, 2010
Railing at…
ATTRACT opportunities instead of pursuing them…
…using counter-intuitive thinking
It’s natural to rail at things that upset us…
…but is it productive?
In Step 3, Suspend Judgment, I struggle, as I believe most of us do, to avoid allowing the emotional reactions I have from becoming judgments about the person, the message or the behavior.  That’s precisely where I am today.
A friend recommended a national best-selling book to me.  I won’t mention the book or author because I don’t believe in denigrating the work of others.  There’s too much of that going on today.  Besides I wouldn’t be modeling the behavior of suspending judgment that I’m asking you to adopt as part of the 7 Steps program.
What I’m offering is the lesson that I’ve taken from this experience.  As I was reading the book – actually within the first 20 pages or so – I was inclined to return it to the library unread.  Why?  The author was railing about today’s political environment without offering any suggestions on what we, the readers, could do to effect changes in that environment.  The examples offered about governments failings were accurate and lucid, but these examples left me with the nagging question “So what do I do about it?”
Without that answer the author left me feeling angry, frustrated and helpless.  The last thing we need are those emotions running rampant throughout the populace.  It’s an emotional blend that builds a powder keg of emotion that, once sparked, unleashes terrible violent action despite the fact that this author promotes non-violence in his rhetoric.
It’s counter-intuitive, but railing at anything triggers emotional reactions in others that can lead to unpredictable, sometimes violent reactions.  At the very least, railing will result in the listeners forming judgments that closes their minds to alternative approaches to dealing with the situation being discussed.
Whenever you feel inclined to rail at something that’s upset you, pause a moment.  Remind yourself that you’re experiencing an emotional reaction.  Recall previous instances in which you were emotional and how those emotions clouded your judgment.  Then recall those situations in which you were able to set aside those emotions and how much more lucid and productive your thinking was.  Relive the joy you experienced as this emotion-free state allowed you to craft a variety of alternative solutions to the problem you were facing.  Remember the peace you experienced as you realized that there were a number of solutions, any of which that could work.
If you want to be INVALUABLE, don’t rail at the situations you face.  Instead, set aside those emotions and the judgments they naturally form and explore alternatives to the situation you’re facing.  Once you’ve identified those alternatives, communicate the circumstances factually as well as the alternative approaches.  The people around you will appreciate the fact that you haven’t cast them into an emotional whirlpool with no way out.  It’s the kind of approach that will cause them to seek your well-reasoned counsel, invite you onto their teams and involve you in their new initiatives.  It’s another way for you to become INVALUABLE.
Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide.  Enjoy!
If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

It’s natural to rail at things that upset us…

…but is it productive?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

In Step 3, Suspend Judgment, I struggle, as I believe most of us do, to avoid allowing the emotional reactions I have from becoming judgments about the person, the message or the behavior.  That’s precisely where I am today.

A friend recommended a national best-selling book to me.  I won’t mention the book or author because I don’t believe in denigrating the work of others.  There’s too much of that going on today.  Besides I wouldn’t be modeling the behavior of suspending judgment that I’m asking you to adopt as part of the 7 Steps program.

What I’m offering is the lesson that I’ve taken from this experience.  As I was reading the book – actually within the first 20 pages or so – I was inclined to return it to the library unread.  Why?  The author was railing about today’s political environment without offering any suggestions on what we, the readers, could do to effect changes in that environment.  The examples offered about governments failings were accurate and lucid, but these examples left me with the nagging question “So what do I do about it?”

Without that answer the author left me feeling angry, frustrated and helpless.  The last thing we need are those emotions running rampant throughout the populace.  It’s an emotional blend that builds a powder keg of emotion that, once sparked, unleashes terrible violent action despite the fact that this author promotes non-violence in his rhetoric.

It’s counter-intuitive, but railing at anything triggers emotional reactions in others that can lead to unpredictable, sometimes violent reactions.  At the very least, railing will result in the listeners forming judgments that closes their minds to alternative approaches to dealing with the situation being discussed.

Whenever you feel inclined to rail at something that’s upset you, pause a moment. Remind yourself that you’re experiencing an emotional reaction.  Recall previous instances in which you were emotional and how those emotions clouded your judgment.  Then recall those situations in which you were able to set aside those emotions and how much more lucid and productive your thinking was.  Relive the joy you experienced as this emotion-free state allowed you to craft a variety of alternative solutions to the problem you were facing.  Remember the peace you experienced as you realized that there were a number of solutions, any of which that could work.

If you want to be INVALUABLE, don’t rail at the situations you face. Instead, set aside those emotions and the judgments they naturally form and explore alternatives to the situation you’re facing.  Once you’ve identified those alternatives, communicate the circumstances factually as well as the alternative approaches.  The people around you will appreciate the fact that you haven’t cast them into an emotional whirlpool with no way out.  It’s the kind of approach that will cause them to seek your well-reasoned counsel, invite you onto their teams and involve you in their new initiatives.  It’s another way for you to become INVALUABLE.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide.  Enjoy!

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.