Whether in business or your personal life…

…choosing the right partner is essential.

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

Gaining an Eclectic Education, Step 6 of the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE, can apply to any activity in which we’re engaged.  Phone conversations with two very talented women prove my point.

During both conversations the topic shifted to opportunities they’d had to partner with others in their field.  Both of these women had repeatedly declined these offers for one very simple reason, the people approaching them didn’t have the breadth and depth of experience they had.

As one of these women so eloquently stated “If one person is strong and the other weak, the weaker partner will benefit immensely from the association while the stronger partner eventually becomes disgruntled over the inequity of the exchange.”  There are other negative outcomes that could occur as well:

• The stronger partner may feel that she is being held back by the weaker partner.
• The weaker partner may feel pressured to take action that she feels ill-equipped to handle.
• The weaker partner may feel that she’s doing all the grunt work while the stronger partner enjoys all the fun work.

The list is endless.

It’s counter-intuitive, but good potential partners are those who are enjoying similar levels of success on their own. Combine that success with similar values, similar dreams and overlapping, yet distinctive capabilities and odds are good that the two of you will enjoy even greater success as partners.

If you want to distinguish yourself, become a person who learns something new in all activities in which your engaged.  Then share what you’ve learned with others.  This ability will make you INVALUABLE to those around you and, in the process, attract opportunities so that you don’t have to pursue them.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit.  Enjoy!

…these may seem like the same thing.

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

My thanks to Dr. Scott Sheperd, Rekindle Your Heart, for having recommended Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Remen, M.D. She offers another interesting perspective on Step 3, Suspend Judgment, of the 7 Steps to BecominG INVALUABLE.

Dr. Remen says “Judgment does not only take place in the form of criticism. Approval is also a form of judgment. When we approve of people, we sit in judgment of them as surely as when we criticize them.”

Frankly it’s a nuance to which I had not previously given thought. My initial reaction was “Aren’t we encouraging people when we offer approval?” A little more thought led me to the conclusion approval and encouragement are not the same thing.

While my approval might prove encouraging, the reverse isn’t always true. My encouragement need not include approval. I might not approve of a friend’s life goal, but I can encourage him to pursue it if that’s what he really wants from life. Indeed, my approval may cause him to continue to pursue that goal in the future when it no longer interests him. Why? Because I approved of it earlier. Our human nature causes us to look to those whose opinion we value for guidance and if that guidance is approval, we’ll find it difficult to move away from that guidance even though our gut tells us we should.

It’s counter-intuitive, but encouragement offers both the resolve to move forward and the flexibility of changing our minds in the future while approval can cause us to do things that we really don’t want to do – things that we’re doing to get the approval.

If you want to distinguish yourself, become the person in your organization who encourages others without judging – without offering approval or criticism. This ability will make you INVALUABLE to those around you and, in the process, attract opportunities so that you don’t have to pursue them.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit.  Enjoy!

If you’d like more information on Dr. Scott Sheperd visit http://www.rekindleyourheart.com. For more information on Dr. Rachel Remen and her books visit http://www.rachelremen.com/.

Are you being honest…

…in conversations with yourself?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

In today’s blog we’re going to explore the importance of language, in particular the language we use with ourselves as we’re formulating the decisions we’re making.  We’re going to tap Step 6, Eclectic Education, to help us gain these insights.

In his book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz states that the first agreement is to be impeccable with our word.  In a similar fashion, neurolinguistic programming states that how we perceive things depends upon the language we use.

Recently I met with a friend who was telling me about a request that he’d received from a client.  His first statement was “I don’t think I’m the right person for this project.”  I challenged his statement knowing that he is one of the most competent and creative people I know and that this project was well within his capabilities.

Then he said “You’re right!  I don’t want to do this project.”  Again I challenged him “This sounds exactly like the kind of project you’d enjoy.  Why do you say that you don’t want to do it?”  He responded “I don’t want to do the research this project requires.”  This gentleman loves research!

Again I challenged his statement.  Then he said “They’re not going to want to pay for the research this project will require.”  Now we’d gotten to the real issue – being compensated fairly for the project.

Why was it so difficult to get to the real issue?  This person wasn’t being honest with himself.  The reality was that he didn’t want to disappoint a good customer, he was pretty sure that the customer wouldn’t want to pay for the research and yet he wanted to get compensated for his efforts.  He bundled all that together and came up with “I don’t think I’m the right guy for this project.”  How sad. And counter-productive.

It’s counter-intuitive but when we feel reluctance toward things, we need to do a reality check.    Is our reluctance truly what we think it is?  Or are our emotions causing us to make excuses for not doing something?  Once we get to the true reason behind our reluctance, we can confront the situation openly and honestly with all parties. This clarity will create a better result for all involved.

How was my friends dilemma resolved?  I suggested that he tell his customer that the research involved in this project would cost between $30,000 and $50,000.  Then I suggested that he ask “Will you get enough benefit from this effort to warrant that investment?” By being honest with himself, he could be honest with his customer. In being honest with his customer he educated that customer and allowed the customer to make an informed decision. After all, it is possible that my friend is overlooking some aspect of value that this project could provide.  He would never discover that if he assumed that the value wasn’t there.

If you’d like to develop these insights so that you, too, can become INVALUABLE to yourself and others, simply click on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE book cover and sign up for the self-study program.  Or, if you prefer that personal touch, you can have your own personal coach to help you become INVALUABLE and, in the process, learn how to attract opportunities instead of pursuing them.

Would you like to learn how to develop these counter-intuitive thought approaches?  Check out my 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE self-study program.  It’s a modest investment with life-time returns.  Just click on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE book cover and learn how easy it is for you to become INVALUABLE.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit.  Enjoy!

Understanding human nature requires subtle intelligence.

The question is “How do we acquire it?”

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

One of the keys to success is understanding others in ways that allow us to help them enjoy greater success.  This week we’re going to use Step 6, Eclectic Education, to discover how we can become more attuned to our fellow human beings and Step 3, Suspend Judgment, to enrich those relationships.

The following quote comes from the Katha Upanisad:

Hidden in all beings,

The self does not shine forth.

But it is seen with supreme, subtle intelligence

By those of subtle sight.

The underlying theme of the Upanisads is that divinity resides in all living things, not just human beings.  It’s this divinity that is “Hidden in all beings” – that does not “shine forth.”  Yet each of us has experienced those special moments in which we’ve become comfortable with who we are and, in doing so, felt the joy of oneness with the world.

Unfortunately these special moments seem to occur too infrequently.  It’s the protracted time frames between these moments that keep the self hidden.  How can we enjoy more of these special moments?  How can help the self shine forth more frequently?

Through introspection – what the Upanisad calls “subtle intelligence” born of subtle “sight.”  If you truly want to experience more of these precious moments, spend 15 minutes each day getting to know who you truly are – warts and all – for even in the warts there is beauty.  Here are some of the things I’ve discovered about myself.  I:

• Am extremely confident.
• Assimilate information quickly and decide quickly.
• Am not good partner material – too independent.
• Am not particularly religious, but spiritual.
• Like people and like to make them laugh.
• Bore easily.
• Am results-oriented.
• Refuse to grow up.

One of the keys to making these self-evaluations work to my advantage is not to judge my discoveries as being either good nor bad.  Being extremely confident is very helpful as long as I don’t allow my confidence to close my mind to what others are telling me.

Not being good partner material could imply that I’m not a team player, yet I have no problems working with groups of people in my clients’ offices or on association boards.  I simply want the freedom to choose what I want to do when I want to do it without seeking a business partner’s permission to do so.  That knowledge allows me to be honest with people who seek any type of affiliation besides a collaboration on a project.

Each day that you spend 15 minutes discovering something about yourself and letting go of the judgment about whether it’s good or bad, the more comfortable you become with who you are.  With this comfort comes the ability the Upanisads calls “subtle sight” – the ability to see, without judgement, the qualities that define those with whom you come into contact.  In essence, you’ll be able to see their “true self” – it will shine forth because you’ve developed the ability to see it.

It’s counter-intuitive, but the ability to know, understand and appreciate others comes from our ability to first know and appreciate ourselves.

Develop this subtle sight, this subtle intelligence and you’ll become very adept at bringing out the best in all whom you meet.  This ability will make you INVALUABLE to those around you and, in the process, attract opportunities so that you don’t have to pursue them.

Would you like to learn how to develop these counter-intuitive thought approaches?  Check out my 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE self-study program.  It’s a modest investment with life-time returns.  Just click on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE book cover and learn how easy it is for you to become INVALUABLE.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit.  Enjoy!

…and our future. 

In an address to the students of Howard University, Michelle Obama said “The question that I hate most that we ask of young people is, ‘What are you going to be when you grow up?’ And the truth is, I still don’t know, and I’m 45 years old.” 

I’m significantly older than Ms. Obama and I still don’t know what I want to be, nor do I want to know.  What I have is a direction in which I’m headed.  That sense of direction is all that I need to move forward.  It does not, however, allow me to know exactly what I’ll be doing in the future.  There really isn’t any way for me to know what opportunities my journey will present and which of them will be most attractive to me at the time. 

It’s counter-intuitive, but if I have a clear picture of what I want to do, keep my nose to the grindstone and work diligently toward that end, I’m likely to overlook opportunities that present themselves along the way.  I could easily pass up opportunities that offer greater psychic and financial rewards than the one I envisioned.  

There is another risk associated with having that clear picture of what you want to do.  The market may not share your interest.  Who among us hasn’t created something we thought incredibly exciting and valuable only to learn that we’re a party of one.

Keeping your eyes open as you move in the general direction you want your life to go will allow you to see what the market wants so that you can align its interests with yours.  That’s why it’s so important that, like our First Lady, you’re not overly concerned with what you’re going to be when you grow up. 

Please share your experiences in discovering opportunities you didn’t envision by posting a comment.  If there are topics you’d like me to address, send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com. 

Why don’t more people use it effectively?

The book and DVD, The Secret, offer a plethora of examples of very successful people who have used the law of attraction to great effect.  It’s a message that resonates well with virtually everyone. 

Why, then, do so few people employ it effectively in enhancing their lives?  The title of this blog offers a clue.  It’s the action.  In my opinion, The Secret does not place enough emphasis on taking appropriate action.  Without action, neither God nor the universe, knows that you’re serious about your expressed desire.  Allow me to share a personal example.

I have a program, 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE.  As I’m sure that you know, it’s the program that teaches people how to develop the skill of counter-intuitive thinking – the focus of this blog.  It’s a message that resonates extremely well with audiences.  It’s not unusual to have over half the audience feverishly taking notes. 

I’ve wanted to take this program national for about six months.  I didn’t make this goal a priority until 45 days ago.  As you’ve probably guessed, nothing happened until the last 45 days.  In that brief period, I’ve had the good fortune to have a literary agent become interested in a book concept that utilizes counter-intuitive thinking.  I’ve increased my speaking engagements six-fold and I’ve recently been interviewed twice by a national continuing education provider.

It’s counter-intuitive, but the law of attraction’s success lies in the action.  Visualizing what you want, keeping the message in front of you everyday – multiple times a day – aren’t enough to get you the success you desire.  You must take action and be consistent in taking actions that move you in the direction of your desired goal.

Do you have topics you’d like to see addressed?  If so, send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.