Would you like more influence?

Then learn to present your ideas succinctly?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

This week we’re going to explore Step 2, The Persuasion Myth, in a slightly different light.  As most of you know Step 2 says that we can’t persuade anyone of anything, they have to persuade themselves.  With that in mind our goal, typically, is to ask questions that allow the listener to discover new perspectives on the issue at hand and, in the process, validate their conclusions with their own experiences.

Fortunately, that’s not the only way (is there ever just one way?) to gain influence.  I’m sure that you’ve met people who didn’t say very much, but when they did everyone listened.

What was it about this person that made their words so powerful?  What allowed the person to command so much attention even though, typically, he or she is soft spoken?  One of the keys is brevity.  Most of us have experienced monologues that dragged on and on leaving us wondering “Is there a point to this?”

Why do we do that?  Why do we embark on these endless narrations?  Our natural tendency is to seek recognition.  This pursuit often leads to lengthy explanations of the:

• Situation we faced
• Obstacles we encountered
• Ways in which we overcame those obstacles
• Conclusions we reached
• Reasons why our approach is the best approach

It’s counter-intuitive, but if we take a few seconds to organize our thoughts:

• To provide only relevant information
• Preferably in question form
• To encourage discovery by our listeners

we’ll go a long way in influencing the outcome we desire.  Remember, the approach will be viewed as manipulative unless you keep an open mind.  You must be willing to consider the possibility that your conclusion is wrong.  Your questions should be crafted as explorations of new perspectives, not as leading others to your foregone conclusion.

By retraining our minds to present ideas succinctly we make ourselves more valuable to others.  The more powerful our words become, the more others admire this ability in us.  It’s why they seek our counsel, why they invite us onto their teams, why they want us involved in new initiatives.  That’s how we become INVALUABLE to them.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide.  Enjoy!

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

None of us wants to be average.

Or do we?

One of my favorite authors is Robert Cialdini , a social psychologist who teaches at Arizona State University. His latest book, Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive, offers new and fascinating insights into human nature.

He and several other researchers did a study of 300 California households’ energy usage. They communicated the results to the participants. While they expected the results to cause the highest users to cut their energy consumption. They didn’t expect the lowest users to raise their power usage, but they did.

This and other studies he and his colleagues have done demonstrate that there is a natural human tendency to move to what he calls “the magnetic middle” – to become average. Can that be true? Do we really strive to be average? Let’s consider some common behaviors and see whether or not Dr. Cialdini’s observations apply to us.

Do you discount your talents, abilities and experience by assuming that, because they come naturally to you, everyone possesses those abilities? Have you presumed that the “facts” you possess are self-evident – that everyone has those facts?

It’s these presumptions that we’re “normal” and, consequently, the rest of the population is just like us that often gets us into trouble. It’s the reason others get the feeling that we aren’t listening to them, that we don’t care about their perspectives, that we’re arrogant or stubborn for standing so firmly on our beliefs.

How do we overcome this natural tendency? The first step is awareness. We have to understand that we’re not like everyone else – that we possess skills and abilities that others don’t possess and that we may be fighting different demons than they are. This knowledge allows us to see, and command fair compensation, for the value we bring to the table. It also allows us aid others in the fights with their demons and, in doing so, helps us build an army to help us fight our own.

Second, as we enter conversations, we need to remind ourselves that others have different backgrounds and experiences than we do; consequently, they’re going to have perspectives that are dramatically different than ours. Relish this diversity! It affords us wonderful opportunities to grow, personally and professionally.

Third, we need to acknowledge that our goals in life, our dreams, are not the same as theirs. We need to respect the fact that others want different things in life than we do. This will help us avoid setting unreasonable expectations of others – expectations that are likely to be the source of great frustration for both of us.

It’s counter-intuitive, but if you want to stop discounting your offerings, if you want better relationships with family, friends, coworkers and bosses, you need to stop presuming that everyone is just like you. You have to avoid the magnetic middle.

The 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE program I offer is designed to help you see more effective ways of doing business – ways that dramatically improve your bottom line while making your life easier. In today’s blog I used Step 4, Seeing Similarities, to combine an insight from a social psychologist’s experiment with my observations of the natural tendency my consulting and coaching clients have to devalue their offerings to help you avoid this pitfall. I also employed Step 5, Contrarian Mindset, to help you see the value of varying perspectives have both for your personal and professional growth and in strengthening your relationships with others. For more information on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE visit www.furtwengler.com/7steps.htm.

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com. Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

Good news – My latest book, Pricing for Profit, was released 9.9.09 in the United States, Canada, U.K., Italy, France, Germany and the Netherlands.  Pick up your copy today!  It’s available in all the major bookstores – Borders, Barnes and Noble and Amazon.

For more information on Dr. Cialdini and his fascinating work, visit http://www.influenceatwork.com/

Have you ever wondered why adding more lanes…

…doesn’t alleviate traffic congestion?

For those of you who, like me, are fascinated by counter-intuitive thinking, I’ve got a book you won’t want to miss.  It’s entitled Simplexity, http://www.simplexitybook.com/SimplexityBook.html.  Jeffrey Kluger, the author, offers fascinating insights into human behavior and why so many solutions we craft don’t produce the results we desire.

One of the examples he offers is the adding of new lanes to a roadway or adding another bridge to alleviate traffic congestion.  He admits that for a few months traffic gets better, but only a few months.  Then we return to the same congestion as before.  How can that be?  The population in our community doesn’t grow that rapidly.

Mr. Kluger says that the additional lanes and bridges invite more people to take their cars instead of using alternative transportation systems.  The result is that drivers fill the available space (hmmm, sounds like nature abhors a vacuum).

It’s counter-intuitive, but if we want to manage traffic congestion more effectively the key is to use those “road” dollars to make our transit systems more accessible, more reliable and capable of handling greater volumes of passengers.

What implications does this have for your business?  If you’re goal is to increase sales don’t focus on increasing the number of customers you serve.  You often have to offer incentives to attract those customers.  Instead find ways to serve existing customers better so that you can command premium prices.  Both approaches increase revenues; the latter is more cost effective.

Similarly, avoid adding staff because “everyone’s busy.”  Instead, spend a few minutes determining what your staff is working on and how valuable it really is.  One of the reasons for organizational bloat is that, during high growth periods, leadership assumes that everyone in the organization is busy doing valuable work.  That’s not been my experience.  Indeed, usually 20% of the work being performed has little if any value.

If you have read any books that really knocked your socks off, please share them with The Invaluable Leader readers by posting the information in a comment.  If there’s a topic you’d like me to address, send your request to me at dale@furtwengler.com.