Whether in business or your personal life…

…choosing the right partner is essential.

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

Gaining an Eclectic Education, Step 6 of the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE, can apply to any activity in which we’re engaged.  Phone conversations with two very talented women prove my point.

During both conversations the topic shifted to opportunities they’d had to partner with others in their field.  Both of these women had repeatedly declined these offers for one very simple reason, the people approaching them didn’t have the breadth and depth of experience they had.

As one of these women so eloquently stated “If one person is strong and the other weak, the weaker partner will benefit immensely from the association while the stronger partner eventually becomes disgruntled over the inequity of the exchange.”  There are other negative outcomes that could occur as well:

• The stronger partner may feel that she is being held back by the weaker partner.
• The weaker partner may feel pressured to take action that she feels ill-equipped to handle.
• The weaker partner may feel that she’s doing all the grunt work while the stronger partner enjoys all the fun work.

The list is endless.

It’s counter-intuitive, but good potential partners are those who are enjoying similar levels of success on their own. Combine that success with similar values, similar dreams and overlapping, yet distinctive capabilities and odds are good that the two of you will enjoy even greater success as partners.

If you want to distinguish yourself, become a person who learns something new in all activities in which your engaged.  Then share what you’ve learned with others.  This ability will make you INVALUABLE to those around you and, in the process, attract opportunities so that you don’t have to pursue them.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit.  Enjoy!

At first glance…

…these may seem like the same thing.

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

My thanks to Dr. Scott Sheperd, Rekindle Your Heart, for having recommended Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Remen, M.D. She offers another interesting perspective on Step 3, Suspend Judgment, of the 7 Steps to BecominG INVALUABLE.

Dr. Remen says “Judgment does not only take place in the form of criticism. Approval is also a form of judgment. When we approve of people, we sit in judgment of them as surely as when we criticize them.”

Frankly it’s a nuance to which I had not previously given thought. My initial reaction was “Aren’t we encouraging people when we offer approval?” A little more thought led me to the conclusion approval and encouragement are not the same thing.

While my approval might prove encouraging, the reverse isn’t always true. My encouragement need not include approval. I might not approve of a friend’s life goal, but I can encourage him to pursue it if that’s what he really wants from life. Indeed, my approval may cause him to continue to pursue that goal in the future when it no longer interests him. Why? Because I approved of it earlier. Our human nature causes us to look to those whose opinion we value for guidance and if that guidance is approval, we’ll find it difficult to move away from that guidance even though our gut tells us we should.

It’s counter-intuitive, but encouragement offers both the resolve to move forward and the flexibility of changing our minds in the future while approval can cause us to do things that we really don’t want to do – things that we’re doing to get the approval.

If you want to distinguish yourself, become the person in your organization who encourages others without judging – without offering approval or criticism. This ability will make you INVALUABLE to those around you and, in the process, attract opportunities so that you don’t have to pursue them.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit.  Enjoy!

If you’d like more information on Dr. Scott Sheperd visit http://www.rekindleyourheart.com. For more information on Dr. Rachel Remen and her books visit http://www.rachelremen.com/.

Are you being honest…

…in conversations with yourself?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

In today’s blog we’re going to explore the importance of language, in particular the language we use with ourselves as we’re formulating the decisions we’re making.  We’re going to tap Step 6, Eclectic Education, to help us gain these insights.

In his book, The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz states that the first agreement is to be impeccable with our word.  In a similar fashion, neurolinguistic programming states that how we perceive things depends upon the language we use.

Recently I met with a friend who was telling me about a request that he’d received from a client.  His first statement was “I don’t think I’m the right person for this project.”  I challenged his statement knowing that he is one of the most competent and creative people I know and that this project was well within his capabilities.

Then he said “You’re right!  I don’t want to do this project.”  Again I challenged him “This sounds exactly like the kind of project you’d enjoy.  Why do you say that you don’t want to do it?”  He responded “I don’t want to do the research this project requires.”  This gentleman loves research!

Again I challenged his statement.  Then he said “They’re not going to want to pay for the research this project will require.”  Now we’d gotten to the real issue – being compensated fairly for the project.

Why was it so difficult to get to the real issue?  This person wasn’t being honest with himself.  The reality was that he didn’t want to disappoint a good customer, he was pretty sure that the customer wouldn’t want to pay for the research and yet he wanted to get compensated for his efforts.  He bundled all that together and came up with “I don’t think I’m the right guy for this project.”  How sad. And counter-productive.

It’s counter-intuitive but when we feel reluctance toward things, we need to do a reality check.    Is our reluctance truly what we think it is?  Or are our emotions causing us to make excuses for not doing something?  Once we get to the true reason behind our reluctance, we can confront the situation openly and honestly with all parties. This clarity will create a better result for all involved.

How was my friends dilemma resolved?  I suggested that he tell his customer that the research involved in this project would cost between $30,000 and $50,000.  Then I suggested that he ask “Will you get enough benefit from this effort to warrant that investment?” By being honest with himself, he could be honest with his customer. In being honest with his customer he educated that customer and allowed the customer to make an informed decision. After all, it is possible that my friend is overlooking some aspect of value that this project could provide.  He would never discover that if he assumed that the value wasn’t there.

If you’d like to develop these insights so that you, too, can become INVALUABLE to yourself and others, simply click on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE book cover and sign up for the self-study program.  Or, if you prefer that personal touch, you can have your own personal coach to help you become INVALUABLE and, in the process, learn how to attract opportunities instead of pursuing them.

Would you like to learn how to develop these counter-intuitive thought approaches?  Check out my 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE self-study program.  It’s a modest investment with life-time returns.  Just click on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE book cover and learn how easy it is for you to become INVALUABLE.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit.  Enjoy!

Understanding human nature requires subtle intelligence.

The question is “How do we acquire it?”

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

One of the keys to success is understanding others in ways that allow us to help them enjoy greater success.  This week we’re going to use Step 6, Eclectic Education, to discover how we can become more attuned to our fellow human beings and Step 3, Suspend Judgment, to enrich those relationships.

The following quote comes from the Katha Upanisad:

Hidden in all beings,

The self does not shine forth.

But it is seen with supreme, subtle intelligence

By those of subtle sight.

The underlying theme of the Upanisads is that divinity resides in all living things, not just human beings.  It’s this divinity that is “Hidden in all beings” – that does not “shine forth.”  Yet each of us has experienced those special moments in which we’ve become comfortable with who we are and, in doing so, felt the joy of oneness with the world.

Unfortunately these special moments seem to occur too infrequently.  It’s the protracted time frames between these moments that keep the self hidden.  How can we enjoy more of these special moments?  How can help the self shine forth more frequently?

Through introspection – what the Upanisad calls “subtle intelligence” born of subtle “sight.”  If you truly want to experience more of these precious moments, spend 15 minutes each day getting to know who you truly are – warts and all – for even in the warts there is beauty.  Here are some of the things I’ve discovered about myself.  I:

• Am extremely confident.
• Assimilate information quickly and decide quickly.
• Am not good partner material – too independent.
• Am not particularly religious, but spiritual.
• Like people and like to make them laugh.
• Bore easily.
• Am results-oriented.
• Refuse to grow up.

One of the keys to making these self-evaluations work to my advantage is not to judge my discoveries as being either good nor bad.  Being extremely confident is very helpful as long as I don’t allow my confidence to close my mind to what others are telling me.

Not being good partner material could imply that I’m not a team player, yet I have no problems working with groups of people in my clients’ offices or on association boards.  I simply want the freedom to choose what I want to do when I want to do it without seeking a business partner’s permission to do so.  That knowledge allows me to be honest with people who seek any type of affiliation besides a collaboration on a project.

Each day that you spend 15 minutes discovering something about yourself and letting go of the judgment about whether it’s good or bad, the more comfortable you become with who you are.  With this comfort comes the ability the Upanisads calls “subtle sight” – the ability to see, without judgement, the qualities that define those with whom you come into contact.  In essence, you’ll be able to see their “true self” – it will shine forth because you’ve developed the ability to see it.

It’s counter-intuitive, but the ability to know, understand and appreciate others comes from our ability to first know and appreciate ourselves.

Develop this subtle sight, this subtle intelligence and you’ll become very adept at bringing out the best in all whom you meet.  This ability will make you INVALUABLE to those around you and, in the process, attract opportunities so that you don’t have to pursue them.

Would you like to learn how to develop these counter-intuitive thought approaches?  Check out my 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE self-study program.  It’s a modest investment with life-time returns.  Just click on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE book cover and learn how easy it is for you to become INVALUABLE.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit.  Enjoy!

So easy to overlook…

…so large in their impact.

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

What can we learn from human genetics?  That the little things really do matter.  In this post I’m combining Step 6, Eclectic Education, with Step 4, See Similarities, to give you a new way of looking at the opportunities and challenges you face.

One of the stunning statistics to come from the human genome project is that 99.6% of our genetic makeup is exactly the same as other human beings on this earth.That means that only 0.4% of our genes account for the vast array of differences that distinguish the almost 7 billion people who occupy the world today.

Beyond the obvious ramifications in terms of gender, unique facial and body features, emotional make up and predispositions to disease, illness or wellness, what can we learn from this statistic?  That slight differences can have a huge and lasting impact.

By nature we’re wired to be enamored with grand and often complex plans.  There’s something enticing about being a part of something that’s bigger than ourselves.  Yet how many of these large initiatives have proven disappointing?  How many actually produce the desired result?

Often the complexity of the initiative combined with the protracted implementation period result in an abandoning of the project in favor of another new, grand initiative.  Such is the plight of our human nature.

What’s the solution?  It’s counter-intuitive, but you need to look for bigness in the result, not the plan, the process or the initiative.  Look for the little things that you can do right now that will produce results.  Each week find another little thing that you can do within hours, or a day or two, that will produce more results.

Over the course of a year, these little things, implemented one at a time, not only dramatically improve your results; they produce sustainable results for the future.

If you want to distinguish yourself, become the person in your organization who sees little changes, little tweaks, to what’s being done that can produce huge results.  This ability will make you INVALUABLE to those around you and, in the process, attract opportunities so that you don’t have to pursue them.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning; you need to be compensated well for the value you provide.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how.  Enjoy!

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog, please enter your email address and name in the left sidebar.  You’ll also get a free copy of Step 1 of the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE.   If you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

Our natural tendency is to grow our operations.

Is it possible that we should be shrinking them?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

Our natural tendency is to grow our existing operations.  We operate under the notion that what has worked for us in the past is the best approach for the future.  Often what we’ll discover is that while what we’ve been doing may have worked, it may not have worked well.  Here’s an example.

Mr. Eggett cites a candy manufacturer who discovered that his real strength was in creating new candies, not in producing them.  The candy manufacturer outsourced the production, sold his production facilities and aligned himself with a food distributor that needed a candy product.  The result? He grew his regional company to a national brand while shrinking his company’s operations.

It’s counter-intuitive, but when considering growth for the future take a look at:

• What your company does better than anyone else.
• What you have the most fun doing.
• Which aspects of your operation consistently disappoint your customers.
• Which areas of the operation give you the most headaches from an operational standpoint.
• Which companies excel at the things your company struggles with;  Mr. Eggett suggests that it could be a competitor who could become an ally.
• Which companies have a gap in their offerings that you can fill with your expertise.

Bring ideas like this to the table vis-a-vis your eclectic education and you’ll have others regularly seeking your counsel, inviting you onto their teams and involving you in their initiatives.  It’s another way to become INVALUABLE.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide.  Enjoy!

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog, please enter your email address and name in the left sidebar.  You’ll also get a free copy of Step 1 of the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE.   If you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

It’s natural to rail at things that upset us…

…but is it productive?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

In Step 3, Suspend Judgment, I struggle, as I believe most of us do, to avoid allowing the emotional reactions I have from becoming judgments about the person, the message or the behavior.  That’s precisely where I am today.

A friend recommended a national best-selling book to me.  I won’t mention the book or author because I don’t believe in denigrating the work of others.  There’s too much of that going on today.  Besides I wouldn’t be modeling the behavior of suspending judgment that I’m asking you to adopt as part of the 7 Steps program.

What I’m offering is the lesson that I’ve taken from this experience.  As I was reading the book – actually within the first 20 pages or so – I was inclined to return it to the library unread.  Why?  The author was railing about today’s political environment without offering any suggestions on what we, the readers, could do to effect changes in that environment.  The examples offered about governments failings were accurate and lucid, but these examples left me with the nagging question “So what do I do about it?”

Without that answer the author left me feeling angry, frustrated and helpless.  The last thing we need are those emotions running rampant throughout the populace.  It’s an emotional blend that builds a powder keg of emotion that, once sparked, unleashes terrible violent action despite the fact that this author promotes non-violence in his rhetoric.

It’s counter-intuitive, but railing at anything triggers emotional reactions in others that can lead to unpredictable, sometimes violent reactions.  At the very least, railing will result in the listeners forming judgments that closes their minds to alternative approaches to dealing with the situation being discussed.

Whenever you feel inclined to rail at something that’s upset you, pause a moment. Remind yourself that you’re experiencing an emotional reaction.  Recall previous instances in which you were emotional and how those emotions clouded your judgment.  Then recall those situations in which you were able to set aside those emotions and how much more lucid and productive your thinking was.  Relive the joy you experienced as this emotion-free state allowed you to craft a variety of alternative solutions to the problem you were facing.  Remember the peace you experienced as you realized that there were a number of solutions, any of which that could work.

If you want to be INVALUABLE, don’t rail at the situations you face. Instead, set aside those emotions and the judgments they naturally form and explore alternatives to the situation you’re facing.  Once you’ve identified those alternatives, communicate the circumstances factually as well as the alternative approaches.  The people around you will appreciate the fact that you haven’t cast them into an emotional whirlpool with no way out.  It’s the kind of approach that will cause them to seek your well-reasoned counsel, invite you onto their teams and involve you in their new initiatives.  It’s another way for you to become INVALUABLE.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide.  Enjoy!

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

Would you like more influence?

Then learn to present your ideas succinctly?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

This week we’re going to explore Step 2, The Persuasion Myth, in a slightly different light.  As most of you know Step 2 says that we can’t persuade anyone of anything, they have to persuade themselves.  With that in mind our goal, typically, is to ask questions that allow the listener to discover new perspectives on the issue at hand and, in the process, validate their conclusions with their own experiences.

Fortunately, that’s not the only way (is there ever just one way?) to gain influence.  I’m sure that you’ve met people who didn’t say very much, but when they did everyone listened.

What was it about this person that made their words so powerful?  What allowed the person to command so much attention even though, typically, he or she is soft spoken?  One of the keys is brevity.  Most of us have experienced monologues that dragged on and on leaving us wondering “Is there a point to this?”

Why do we do that?  Why do we embark on these endless narrations?  Our natural tendency is to seek recognition.  This pursuit often leads to lengthy explanations of the:

• Situation we faced
• Obstacles we encountered
• Ways in which we overcame those obstacles
• Conclusions we reached
• Reasons why our approach is the best approach

It’s counter-intuitive, but if we take a few seconds to organize our thoughts:

• To provide only relevant information
• Preferably in question form
• To encourage discovery by our listeners

we’ll go a long way in influencing the outcome we desire.  Remember, the approach will be viewed as manipulative unless you keep an open mind.  You must be willing to consider the possibility that your conclusion is wrong.  Your questions should be crafted as explorations of new perspectives, not as leading others to your foregone conclusion.

By retraining our minds to present ideas succinctly we make ourselves more valuable to others.  The more powerful our words become, the more others admire this ability in us.  It’s why they seek our counsel, why they invite us onto their teams, why they want us involved in new initiatives.  That’s how we become INVALUABLE to them.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide.  Enjoy!

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

Have you become disenchanted with your work?

If so, what can you do about it?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

I had to chuckle when I read the following comment a teacher made to Dr. Thomas Gordon as related in his book T.E.T-Teacher Effectiveness Training www.gordontraining.com/drthomasgordon.html

“When I started teaching I saw myself as the leader of a happy band of students, eager to learn, to explore, to discover.  It didn’t turn out that way.  I don’t look forward to teaching,  I dread each new class, each new day.  So do the students.  I feel like a slave driver cracking the whip over the heads of a bunch of lazy, good-for-nothing slobs whose only interest is to get out of work.  They lie, cheat, put each other down, and seem to be interested only in how little they can do and still pass the course.  Worst of all, I’m now told that I am going to be judged by how well they do on standardized tests!”

I’m not sadistic; I don’t take pleasure in other people’s pain.  Yet I had to laugh because, by simply changing a few words, I could use that commentary to describe virtually any work environment I’ve ever seen.  Even in the best of environments there are days that cause managers  to echo this teacher’s frustration.

Why do we become so disenchanted?  Why do we experience such great frustration?  More importantly, is there anything we can do about it?

Dr. Gordon suggests that this teacher first look toward her own expectations.  In the language of the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE that means looking at your contribution to the problem.

Regardless of how you frame it, the question is “Is it reasonable to expect human beings of any age, background or temperament to occasionally appear to be ‘a bunch of of lazy, good-for-nothing slobs whose only interest is to get out of work’?”  People also lie, cheat and put each other down.

These are the less attractive aspects of our humanity, yet they exist in each of us.  If we know this, then it’s possible to set realistic expectations that, on occasion, people are going to behave badly. When they do it’s much easier to deal with that behavior because we realize that we’ve had our moments as well.  We can draw upon our less-than-exemplary moments to help the person return to more appropriate behavior.  It also helps if we utilize Step 3 of the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE, Suspend Judgment, to avoid judging the person or the person’s behavior.

The second thing to explore when feeling disenchanted is how the system might be triggering the behaviors we’re seeing.  If you recall from my November 30, 2009 post “The Propensity for Evil”, Philip Zimbardo in his book, The Lucifer Effect, provides great insight into how situations  trigger behaviors that are atypical for the individuals involved.  If your frustration is on par with the teacher’s commentary above, it may be that the system (remember you’re part of the system) is the true source of your frustration.

It’s counter-intuitive to look at our disenchantment from the vantage points of our personal contribution to the problem (Step 1 Contributory Negligence), the system in which we operate and our natural tendency to judge situations (Step 3 Suspend Judgment) but it’s the most effective way to regain the joy and excitement our work once brought us.

Use these simple concepts to help others overcome their disenchantment with work and you, too, will become INVALUABLE.  It’s another way to attract new leadership opportunities.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  You need to get compensated well for the value you provide.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to learn how to communicate your value and command higher prices or salaries for that value.