Would you like more influence?

Then learn to present your ideas succinctly?

ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…

…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking

This week we’re going to explore Step 2, The Persuasion Myth, in a slightly different light.  As most of you know Step 2 says that we can’t persuade anyone of anything, they have to persuade themselves.  With that in mind our goal, typically, is to ask questions that allow the listener to discover new perspectives on the issue at hand and, in the process, validate their conclusions with their own experiences.

Fortunately, that’s not the only way (is there ever just one way?) to gain influence.  I’m sure that you’ve met people who didn’t say very much, but when they did everyone listened.

What was it about this person that made their words so powerful?  What allowed the person to command so much attention even though, typically, he or she is soft spoken?  One of the keys is brevity.  Most of us have experienced monologues that dragged on and on leaving us wondering “Is there a point to this?”

Why do we do that?  Why do we embark on these endless narrations?  Our natural tendency is to seek recognition.  This pursuit often leads to lengthy explanations of the:

• Situation we faced
• Obstacles we encountered
• Ways in which we overcame those obstacles
• Conclusions we reached
• Reasons why our approach is the best approach

It’s counter-intuitive, but if we take a few seconds to organize our thoughts:

• To provide only relevant information
• Preferably in question form
• To encourage discovery by our listeners

we’ll go a long way in influencing the outcome we desire.  Remember, the approach will be viewed as manipulative unless you keep an open mind.  You must be willing to consider the possibility that your conclusion is wrong.  Your questions should be crafted as explorations of new perspectives, not as leading others to your foregone conclusion.

By retraining our minds to present ideas succinctly we make ourselves more valuable to others.  The more powerful our words become, the more others admire this ability in us.  It’s why they seek our counsel, why they invite us onto their teams, why they want us involved in new initiatives.  That’s how we become INVALUABLE to them.

Attracting opportunities is only the beginning.  Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide.  Enjoy!

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

…while others are so easily ignored?

Mesmerizing authors offer a glimpse of what’s to come – tiny tidbits of information that grab your attention and build anticipation.  You want to know more, but the author makes you wait knowing that joy lies in anticipation.

If you doubt that, recall a book that you were enjoying when the author telegraphed the ending.  Remember your disappointment as you waded through the last fifty pages or so knowing what the ending was, but afraid not to finish the book in case you were wrong.  When your suspicions were finally confirmed, you felt cheated.  The author just wasted your time by “forcing” you to read those last fifty pages.

From the author’s vantage point, the only thing worse is having you decide within the first fifty pages that his work isn’t worthy of your time.  Ouch!

What’s this have to do with you?  Whether you’re a business owner, a career business development specialist or someone with a great idea who needs the approval of others to move forward, you need the skills of a mesmerizing author to attract new customers or champions for your cause.

What are these skills?  How do you develop them?  Our natural tendency is to think that we’re logical human beings who, when presented with all the facts, make reasonable, informed decisions.  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  You don’t have to trust me; simply recall the last time you presented a well-thought-out idea and the reaction you got.  Remember the dismay you felt as your audience’s eyes glazed over.  You’ve just experienced the “ouch” the author feels when his work is discarded after fifty pages.

How do you avoid having this happen to you?  Learn to think like a mesmerizing mystery writer.  Learn how to craft messages that engage others with intrigue and anticipation.  Specifically you want to frame your messages to:

• Avoid telling them anything – allow them the thrill of discovery
• Don’t be afraid to use misdirection
• Use language that triggers an emotional reaction
• Leave them wanting more – even when they’ve already bought

Imagine how exciting it will be for your customers and champions if they always have something new to look forward to when dealing with you.  You’ll be this endless font of wisdom from which they’ll drink without ever being sated.  That’s the feeling others will have of you when you develop the skill of a mesmerizing author.

Let’s take a look at each of the above components of an intriguing message in more detail.  First, avoid telling them anything.  All great authors use questions or innuendo that give their readers a glimpse of what’s to come without letting them know what the outcome will be.  Indeed, many will employ the magician’s art of misdirection to cause the reader to vacillate between a number of alternative outcomes none of which will be the ultimate outcome.

Use language that elicit emotions.  Logic is BORING!  I know that exercising thirty minutes a day is good for my health.  Boring.  But exercising so that I can continue to scuba dive into my eighties, that excites me.  Make sure that your language targets what they want, not what they need.  I need to exercise, but I want to go scuba diving.

Finally, leave them wanting more.  Even though you know where your idea is headed, don’t share any more than absolutely necessary to get the sale or the approval you need.  Leave a few things hidden so that you can continue to wow them well into the future.

It’s counter-intuitive, but you’ll enjoy greater, more lasting success in any endeavor you choose if you learn to think like a mesmerizing author.

The 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE program is designed to help you see more effective ways of doing business – ways that dramatically improve your bottom line while making your life easier.  In today’s blog I used Step 2, The Persuasion Myth, and Step 4, See Similarities, to demonstrate how people who make their living attracting readers can help you attract more buyers or more champions for you cause.  For more information on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE visit www.furtwengler.com/7steps.htm.

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.

Good news – My latest book, Pricing for Profit, is going to be released 9.9.09 in the United States, Canada, U.K., Italy, France, Germany and the Netherlands.  Prepublication orders are being taken at  amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com.  Enjoy!

…be very careful what you say.

When asked about Harvard professor Henry Gates’ arrest by Cambridge police, President Obama said, “I don’t have all the facts…”

Subsequent actions indicate he wishes he’d stopped there.  The rest of his answer had people taking sides on the debate over race relations in this country.  Having observed President Obama for some time now, I’ve seen the effort he puts into building bridges between competing factions in every arena in which he operates.  To lob a grenade onto an existing bridge, especially a tenuous structure like race relations in the United States, just isn’t his style.

Each of us can relate to President Obama’s faux pas this past week.  Who among us hasn’t been asked to comment on things about which we have little, if any, information?

Fortunately for us, our missteps don’t happen in front of millions of viewers.  What can we learn from the President’s comments?

Let’s begin with an exploration of why we, human beings, have this natural tendency to comment on things that we know little about.  Here are a few thoughts:

• we enjoy the fact that others value our opinion
• we don’t want to be perceived as dodging difficult issues
• we have opinions and we want to be heard

Let’s be honest, we’re flattered when others seek our opinion.  We sense that they hope to learn something from us.  Human nature being what it is, we don’t like to disappoint people who think highly of us.  So we wade (or jump headlong) into those murky waters of incomplete information.  Unfortunately, our lack of knowledge of all the facts usually prevents us from providing any real value to those who seek our opinion.

The previous scenario assumes that the other party’s interest in our opinion is genuine.  That isn’t always the case.  There are times when we feel trapped by a question.  We sense that no matter what we say, our words are going to come back to haunt us.  “No comment” is going to be as damning as whatever else we might say.  I suspect this was the position in which President Obama found himself during the press conference.

Finally, despite the fact that we don’t have complete information on the question posed, we often have thoughts on related issues and we want those opinions heard.  All too often these opinions are dismissed because they’re not relevant to the question being posed.  Not only are our efforts for naught, we risk being viewed as someone who either isn’t paying attention or is a little slow on the uptake.  Either way we lose credibility in the sight of those involved in the discussion.

So what’s the solution?  None of the outcomes in the three scenarios outlined above does us or our listeners any good.  So how do we avoid these pitfalls?

It’s counter-intuitive, but refusing to comment when you have incomplete information is the most effective way to protect yourself and others.  You’ll gain respect and enhance your credibility with those who truly value your opinion by saying “I don’t have enough information to add value to this discussion.”

You’ll also minimize the damage that those who are trying to trap you can inflict upon you.  It’s much easier to defend a claim that you’re dodging a difficult question when you can honestly say “I don’t know how I can be expected to form a judgment when I don’t have all the facts.”  Again, this kind of response enhances your credibility at a time when others seek to diminish it.

Your ideas are also likely to get a better hearing if you say “I don’t have enough information to comment on this particular situation, but I’d be happy to share my thoughts on the broader issue of…”  If the listener(s) take you up on this offer, feel free to share your thoughts with them.  If they don’t, let them continue the discussion.  Either way your integrity and credibility remain intact.

The 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE program is designed to help you see more effective ways of doing business – ways that dramatically improve your bottom line while making your life easier.  In today’s blog I used Step 1, Contributory Negligence, to show you how our natural human tendencies create problems for us.  I also used Step 4, See Similarities, to show how President Obama’s misstep is one that each of us has made from time to time.  Finally, I’m using Step 5, Contrarian Mindset, to show how we can protect ourselves from the dangers of incomplete information.  For more information on the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE visit www.furtwengler.com/7steps.htm.

If you’d like to receive a weekly email reminder with a link to The Invaluable Leader blog or if you’d like me to address specific topics, please send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.  Please share your experience with our readers by posting a comment.