Approval or Encouragement?
At first glance…
…these may seem like the same thing.
ATTRACT Opportunities Instead of Pursuing Them…
…Using Counter-Intuitive Thinking
My thanks to Dr. Scott Sheperd, Rekindle Your Heart, for having recommended Kitchen Table Wisdom by Rachel Remen, M.D. She offers another interesting perspective on Step 3, Suspend Judgment, of the 7 Steps to BecominG INVALUABLE.
Dr. Remen says “Judgment does not only take place in the form of criticism. Approval is also a form of judgment. When we approve of people, we sit in judgment of them as surely as when we criticize them.”
Frankly it’s a nuance to which I had not previously given thought. My initial reaction was “Aren’t we encouraging people when we offer approval?” A little more thought led me to the conclusion approval and encouragement are not the same thing.
While my approval might prove encouraging, the reverse isn’t always true. My encouragement need not include approval. I might not approve of a friend’s life goal, but I can encourage him to pursue it if that’s what he really wants from life. Indeed, my approval may cause him to continue to pursue that goal in the future when it no longer interests him. Why? Because I approved of it earlier. Our human nature causes us to look to those whose opinion we value for guidance and if that guidance is approval, we’ll find it difficult to move away from that guidance even though our gut tells us we should.
It’s counter-intuitive, but encouragement offers both the resolve to move forward and the flexibility of changing our minds in the future while approval can cause us to do things that we really don’t want to do – things that we’re doing to get the approval.
If you want to distinguish yourself, become the person in your organization who encourages others without judging – without offering approval or criticism. This ability will make you INVALUABLE to those around you and, in the process, attract opportunities so that you don’t have to pursue them.
Attracting opportunities is only the beginning. Visit www.pricingforprofitbook.com to discover how to get compensated well for the value you provide or check out my latest book, Pricing for Profit. Enjoy!
If you’d like more information on Dr. Scott Sheperd visit http://www.rekindleyourheart.com. For more information on Dr. Rachel Remen and her books visit http://www.rachelremen.com/.
Tags: counter-intuitive thinking, eclectic education, personal development, personal growth, suspend judgment
