Was the law of attraction at work at the Democratic convention?

If so, how did it manifest itself?

Christy Beckmann, founder of The Reputation Builder, asks “How do Hillary Clinton’s and Barack Obama’s actions personify the law of attraction?”

Rarely am I at a loss for words, but I must confess that this question has given me pause.  As you’ll see from the length of this response the words came roaring back. 

This insightful question has challenged me to go deeper into the law of attraction than I’ve ever gone.  Hopefully, Christy, what I’ve discovered will answer your question.

The law of attraction basically says that we attract what we think about.  That’s the 30,000 foot view.  In reality, it’s more complicated than that.  We not only have to be able to focus our thoughts on our goal, we must believe with every fiber of our being that it will happen and we have to take action that moves us in the direction of that goal. 

At least that’s what I thought until Christy’s question.  Since then I’ve come to realize that there is another critical element - motivation.  The motivation must be balanced; it must blend the desire of the individual with the welfare of the masses. 

When motives are purely self-serving the individual rarely enjoys success.  The reason is simple.  We are not inclined to help those who don’t care about us.  How does this relate to Senators Clinton and Obama and the Democratic convention?

I have no doubt that both senators have the welfare of the United States at heart.  The question then becomes “Why was Senator Obama able to attract what he needed to win the nomination when Senator Clinton was not?” 

Before I answer that question I’d like to remind you that Step 3 in 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE is to learn to suspend judgment.  With that in mind, I will not judge the motivations of either Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama.  I will not judge because I cannot know with certainty what their motives are.  Yet, like you, I have to make a choice and, yes, I realize that the Republicans offer a choice as well so we’ll add John McCain to the discussion knowing that he too cares about the welfare of the United States.

Our choices will be formed by the impressions we have of the candidates’ motivations.  In my opinion, and it is only an opinion, that the reason that Senator Obama won the nomination over Senator Clinton is that the balance between his personal goal and the welfare of the masses was tilted in favor of the masses to a greater degree than was demonstrated by Senator Clinton.

I believe that Senator Obama confirmed that perception when he said “…this election has never been about me; it’s about you.”  I believe that’s the sense that the majority of voters in the primaries and caucuses felt and that’s the reason why he won the nomination.

What’s John McCain’s “karma” in light of the law of attraction?  I get the sense that Senator McCain is struggling.  I can’t put my finger on the source of the struggle; it’s something that he alone will know when he sees it. 

The reason that I say that he’s struggling is that he seems to be spending a great deal of time reacting to Senator Obama’s actions rather than moving forward with his vision of the future.  If he were to voice his vision of the future as forcefully as Senator Obama, to provide us with enough detail to be able to see that vision ourselves, John McCain would demonstrate more clearly just how much he cares about us as United States citizens.

We gain a sense that others care about us when they take the time to educate us.  They realize that we may not always agree with them, but they respect our intelligence enough to educate us to their perspective.  This is what Barack Obama has done so effectively.  This is what John McCain needs to do if he hopes to attract the votes he needs to win the election in November.

It’s counter-intuitive, but the law of attraction works best when we strike a balance, possibly with a slight tilt to the masses, between our goals and the welfare of those we serve.  Christy, hopefully, you’ll found an answer in this lengthy response.  Thank you for the insightful question.

If there are topics you’d like addressed, do as Christy did; send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.

One of today’s most popular concepts.

Why don’t more people use it effectively?

The book and DVD, The Secret, offer a plethora of examples of very successful people who have used the law of attraction to great effect.  It’s a message that resonates well with virtually everyone. 

Why, then, do so few people employ it effectively in enhancing their lives?  The title of this blog offers a clue.  It’s the action.  In my opinion, The Secret does not place enough emphasis on taking appropriate action.  Without action, neither God nor the universe, knows that you’re serious about your expressed desire.  Allow me to share a personal example.

I have a program, 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE.  As I’m sure that you know, it’s the program that teaches people how to develop the skill of counter-intuitive thinking - the focus of this blog.  It’s a message that resonates extremely well with audiences.  It’s not unusual to have over half the audience feverishly taking notes. 

I’ve wanted to take this program national for about six months.  I didn’t make this goal a priority until 45 days ago.  As you’ve probably guessed, nothing happened until the last 45 days.  In that brief period, I’ve had the good fortune to have a literary agent become interested in a book concept that utilizes counter-intuitive thinking.  I’ve increased my speaking engagements six-fold and I’ve recently been interviewed twice by a national continuing education provider.

It’s counter-intuitive, but the law of attraction’s success lies in the action.  Visualizing what you want, keeping the message in front of you everyday - multiple times a day - aren’t enough to get you the success you desire.  You must take action and be consistent in taking actions that move you in the direction of your desired goal.

Do you have topics you’d like to see addressed?  If so, send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com.

Not if we continue to relinquish our rights.

We are inviting government control.

Last week an ABC World News Tonight report said that some independent pharmacists are refusing to sell contraceptive devices.  They also refuse to fill prescriptions for that purpose.  The Illinois legislature is considering legislation that would require pharmacists to sell these items. 

This is a battle over individual rights.  The question is “Whose rights should prevail?”  Or is it?  To me, it’s another example of our willingness to relinquish our right to make choices for ourselves.  A choice we could easily retain IF we learned to respect each other’s choices.

The third step, in the 7 Steps to Becoming INVALUABLE, is learning to suspend judgment.  We suspend judgment when we respect the rights of others to make their own decisions.  When we deprive others of that right, we risk forfeiting that right for ourselves.

Every time we turn over the decision-making process to legislators or the courts, we not only relinquish the right to choose for ourselves, we relinquish a future right - the right to change that decision.  Anyone who has ever tried to overturn prior legislation or set new court precedent knows exactly what I mean.  Conversely, if we craft solutions on our own, we reserve the right to craft new solutions as the situation changes. 

If pharmacists, when notifying their customers of their choice not to sell contraceptive devices and medications, would have provided alternative sources to their customers, they would have shown respect for the choices their customers make while honoring their own choices.

Similarly, if customers who choose contraception would respect the religious or moral beliefs of these pharmacists, they’d quickly realize that there are alternatives that fit their needs while respecting the choices of the pharmacist.  We live in a world of on-line pharmacies!  Orders are delivered right to our doors.  These “aggrieved” customers can’t even argue inconvenience.

It’s counter-intuitive, but when we initiate a battle over personal rights, we:

• Waste time fighting when we could be crafting solutions
• Give others the right to decide what’s right for us
• Forfeit our future rights to decide our fate

Is that what we want?  If not, let’s learn to respect each others choices and find ways to help each other find the solutions that are right for them while honoring our own choices. 

Send me an email at dale@furtwengler.com and let me know what topics you’d like addressed.

An oft overlooked aspect of praise…

Dealing with poor performers

One of life’s great joys is receiving praise from others.  Praise not only affirms what we’re doing, it gives us a sense of being valuable.  Praise motivates us to higher levels of performance.

What many leaders don’t realize is that praise can be a just as powerful when dealing with poor performers.  Withholding praise sends the message that we’re not happy with their performance, without being critical or denigrating.  The desire for praise can be exactly the motivation a poor performer needs.

It’s counter-intuitive, but praise is equally powerful when offered or withheld.

If you have examples of how praise or withholding it benefited you and your team, please post a comment sharing your experience with us.  Is there a topic you’d like addressed?  If so, email me at dale@furtwengler.com.

You know me well.

It’s about Brett Favre and the Green Bay Packers.

I’ll begin with all the appropriate disclaimers.  I haven’t followed the news reports on the Favre situation closely, I’m not a sports agent nor have I read Mr. Favre’s contract.  I do know that he’s reported to have been offered between $20 million and $25 million not to play football.

This is one of the most uninspired solutions Packer management could have devised.  Any time “leaders” throw money at people to get them to do what they want, they’re either uninspired or lack courage.  As leaders yourselves, I’m sure you cringe at both labels.

Let’s look at some alternatives to the proposed “marketing” deal Favre was offered:

1. Most contracts call for players to be paid, not that they’ll necessarily play.  If that’s the case in Brett Favre’s contract, then appeal to his concern for the future of the team and ask him to teach the new quarterback what he knows.  It’s called succession planning!
2. If there are performance bonuses built into Mr. Favre’s contract, pay him as if achieved them all, assuming he’s teaching his replacement.
3. If he’s not willing to take on the role of teacher, if his passion is playing and that’s what he wants to do, trade him.  So what if he leads another team to a Super Bowl victory next year?  What’s the likelihood that the Packers or any team will get there with a new quarterback?

Packer management has demonstrated courage in holding their position that Brett Favre will not be their quarterback this year.  Yet, their “marketing deal” is uninspired and unproductive.

Throwing money at unhappy employees makes the situation worse.  In this case, I’m sure that Brett Favre’s dissatisfaction deepened as Packer management withheld the one thing he wanted - the opportunity to compete.  Other players, many of whom share that passion, can’t help but wonder what will happen to them when their time comes.  Will they be able to go to another team?  Finally, management set a precedent that they’re willing to pay unhappy players to get rid of them.  Do any of these create a culture that’s conducive to winning another Super Bowl?  I doubt it.  

It’s counter-intuitive, if you want to be respected as a leader, don’t offer money; offer alternatives.  Any of the alternatives listed above would have achieved the goals of all parties without paying any more than previously agreed.  Sweetening the deal cheapens the relationship and fosters ill-will.  Why?  It ignores the true goals of each party.

No, I’m not talking about book learnin’.

It’s about certainty.

A good friend of mine has incredible talent, a sharp mind and a very caring, sharing nature - all of the ingredients for success.  Yet, he found it difficult to let go of some of the things that were holding him back.  I’m sure that each of you has had a similar experience.  I know I have.

In the past 15 years, I’ve been able to release myself from these fear-based bonds.  How?  I’ve come to learn that everything I need shows up when I need it; not always in the timeframe I’d like, but always when I need it.  This knowledge allows me to avoid a great deal of fear, anxiety and stress in my life.  The absence of these limiters helps me enjoy greater success than I would otherwise.  How did I get to this stage?

There are three stages of development in creating the knowledge (certainty) that the things you need will always be there for you.  The three stages are trust, belief and knowledge.  In the beginning we trust that things will show up when we need them.  At this level we don’t have much evidence on which to base this trust, we are taking a leap of faith. 

As we see things showing up when we need them, we begin to believe that this is always the case.  When we see this reality in EVERY situation we face, even those that seem devastating, we know with absolute certainty that everything we need shows up when we need it.  At this point, our fears are easily set aside allowing us to move forward.

It’s counter-intuitive, but you can accelerate your progress through the three stages by examining any troublesome situation you’ve faced with the question “What showed up that made it easier to deal with this situation?”  Here’s an example of how examining a situation retrospectively can accelerate your progress toward knowledge. 

Recently, my wife had car problems.  It was on a day in which I had only one very early appointment.  I was able to make it back in time to swap vehicles to allow her to get to work.  I called several repair places and found one with an opening to fix the problem.  They were able to get the part they needed in time to get my wife to work the following day - a day in which I had no openings in my schedule at all.  It’s awareness borne out by situation after situation that allows you to KNOW that whatever you need will show up when you need it. 

Within days of sharing these thoughts with my friend, a potential problem was avoided by something, completely unexpected, showing up in time.  Smiling as he shared his good news with me, he also related three other, less troublesome, situations in which what he needed showed up as if on cue.  He’s well on his way to achieving stage three - certain knowledge.